We all know the saying, “Nice guys finish last.” I think this is total malarkey and the reason I think so is because if you ever notice, people who are nice are usually the ones everyone responds favorably to. “Oh Bubba, he’s a nice guy.” So, wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you come off as being a nice, good guy, she’ll like you more? Of course it would.

Women like nice guys. In fact they seek them out. Sure, they do sometimes go for the “bad boy” and his crazy motorcycle. But, in the end, they want to be with someone who isn’t going to treat them badly and who’s going to be there for them.

This is your cue. If you come off as being a nice guy, she’s not going to feel she has to put an immediate wall up to ward you off. And being nice is smiling, being relaxed and listening as she talks. It’s about not putting her down or being mean to her. That’s pretty much it.

It doesn’t mean to butt in and start bragging about yourself, either. It also doesn’t mean that you have to be some sort of sucker or chump who lets everyone push him around either. It just means being nice and nonthreatening to people who you want to get to know better and who you want to get to know you. That’s all.

Being nice means you are a cool guy to hang out with. It means you will be nice to her. After that initial interaction, if she feels you are nice, she’s more than likely going to respond in kind. You’re nice. She’s nice. You two would go nice together. Get it?

So, being nice is a great defense. It puts you in a place of good feeling. “Oh, Bubba, he was nice. I liked him.” If you come off as being nice, you will come out ahead. And sometimes nice guys do finish first. Just keep that in mind.

Spontaneity

Something important to take into account is that conversations are spontaneous. They can’t be rehearsed, and shouldn’t. If you do this, you will only come off as a bad actor on his first audition to an off-off-Broadway play. You don’t want that. You want to come off as a guy who’s just talking to a girl.

Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, in the beginning, before you can get the hang of things, you will probably have to have somewhat of a script to get you going in regards to your openers, just like any actor. But the thing to remember is that any good actor knows how to improvise.

So, as you’re talking and using your opening script, improvise but do so organically. Never put anything out there that is the least bit fake. Don’t brag and don’t try to impress her too much.

You might be an internet millionaire but if you throw that at her first thing, she’s might be impressed that you are rich but not like the fact that you probably think everything is about your money. (She might also think you’re fibbing. I mean, how many actual internet millionaires have you met recently. Exactly.)

If you can keep everything light and fun, then it’s easy to be spontaneous and that will make it easier to slip in a “Would you like to go out sometime?” If you’re having a good time talking to her, she’s probably having a good time talking to you and that means you two would probably have a good time going out on a date.

Just know that you are a normal person and she is as well. Speaking with her will not be that much different than speaking with someone you already know.

Yes, she’s hot and, yes, you want to get to know her better. But just relax with it. If you can do this, she will relax too. Relaxing will allow you to make better choices and see the situation for what it is: The two of you just shooting the breeze together.