This article is about the basics of talking to the ladies, a recap, if you will. I am going to pretty much lay it all out here and get it down to brass tacks. This should cover what you need to know and serve as a quick reference.
First of all, approach with confidence. You’re a cool guy and cool guys have confidence. Yes, you may be nervous and, if so, try to get those nerves under control.
Also, expect to strike out a few times. Rejection isn’t usually about you so don’t make it about it you. It’s about you and her not being a good match. That’s all it is. And do you want to push the issue? No. You don’t.
Now, before you even approach, you might want to look for the signs that she wants you to do so.
Here they are:
- A coy smile in your general direction.
- She runs her hand through her hair or plays with it.
- She stares at you then looks away quickly when she catches you staring back.
- Her biting or licking her lips nervously.
- And, obviously, she actually motions you over to her.
Once you have the signs and you know it’s okay to talk to her, just walk right up to her. Get things going.
The Ice breaker
What works best? A nice, good-natured smile and a simple, “Hi, how are you?” The smile is so important because this will disarm her and let her know what a good guy you are. Of course, if you have misread the signs and she doesn’t want to talk to you, then so what? No harm, no foul. Just move right along and find someone who does want to talk to you. And there will be plenty of women who do once you get all this down, believe me.
After you’ve said hi to her, and she to you, break the ice with a few, easy going questions such as, “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?” or “Do you have the time? My watch is a little off.” These ice breakers will help you to get the conversation rolling.
Take into account that it’s best not to smother her with too many questions at first and never ask anything rude or personal, especially about the color of her hair or, God forbid, her age. No woman wants to be asked, “Are you a natural blonde?” or “How old are you?” Ugh, no. Soon enough, if you two hit it off, you can find out the answers to those questions. Just not now.
Also, always be respectful of her and never attempt to talk to a woman who’s scowling or frowning.
In essence, you approach a woman with a smile and a “Hi, how are you?” and then you introduce yourself. “By the way, I’m Bubba, and you are?” This puts the ball in her court.
Getting Her to Talk About Herself
Now, it’s time to get her to talk about her favorite subject, herself. So ask her a few, non-prying questions about where she went to school and try to find commonalities such as people you might have in common or places you might have been.
Interject at the appropriate times with a little tidbit about yourself or another light question to her. Asking open-ended questions keeps the conversation flowing and relaxes both parties.
Asking Her Out
If and when you are ready to ask her for her number, or for a date, do so in a casual way by saying something like, “I have to get going. Can I get your number so I can ask you out sometime?” The answer will be either be a yes or a no. If it’s a no, take it like a man and thank her for her time. Don’t get upset, either.
Rejection isn’t about you, so don’t make it about you. If it’s a yes, then either put her number in your phone or have her get yours. Then call for the date at a later time with a, “Hi, this is Bubba. We met the other day? Anyway, I just wanted to see if you were free on Friday night.”
And there you go. As always, I want to reiterate that talking to the ladies isn’t that hard. Just don’t go in with an attitude that you might fail. Yes, you might but so what? You have to try. Try and do is all I can say. Don’t be afraid to strike out sometimes and don’t be afraid to ask for her number because, if you never ask, you might not ever receive.
So, get out there and get to it. There are plenty of ladies who might just love to have someone like you talk to someone like them.